You can’t please everyone. The sooner you realize that, the happier you’ll be.
There’s only so much that you can take or do. Trying to be superman by always trying to please everyone will only work against you. And the result will only end up worse than if you hadn’t actually tried. People won’t remember that you tried to help them and please them, they’ll just remember that you let them down. And you’ll only end up frustrated, feeling unappreciated, and feeling that you are always being taken for granted from everyone.
Know your capacity. Learn to say NO. Stop making other people a priority and stop pushing yourself to always please others. Be your own priority and don’t go out of your way for anyone because very rare are those who will do the same for you.
Focus on pleasing yourself first and don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for it, whether directly or indirectly. There are so many times when I felt too guilty for saying no or for wanting to have things my way, that I ended up doing what others wanted instead. I ended up pushing myself too hard, playing the role of the superhero, cancelling my original plans, and over exceeding my capacities just to please everyone and not to let others down. Most of the times, I was only hurting myself. But there are other times where everything completely backfired because it was just too much for me to handle. Because my superhero skills let me down. And I ended up pleasing no one, making things worse and making everyone angry instead. The people who had indirectly made me feel guilty for just saying no, made me feel double the guilt when things didn’t go according to their plans.
“Why didn’t you just tell me that you can’t?”. Uh, hello I did try to tell you, but you didn’t take it too well at the time and made me feel guilty about it, remember? “You could have just said that you needed more time!”. Uh, sorry! I was trying to use my superhero skills to please your highness! “I don’t understand why you didn’t try?!” Uh, didn’t try? Excuse me, I didn’t just TRY, I was busting my ass off and going beyond my capacity to do this for you!
Oh wait, I just said it. “Going beyond my capacity”.
Don’t ever go beyond your capacity to please anyone. Because most probably, you won’t be able to (it’s called a capacity for a reason). And most probably, they won’t even understand or appreciate. And you’ll only end up feeling like shit (excuse my French).
So think of yourself. Please others only when it’s convenient for you and only if you’re not hurting yourself along the way. Stay true to yourself and don’t ever let anyone think that it’s your duty, your job, your responsibility to please them. It’s your responsibility to please yourself and only yourself. Don’t allow people to take you or your kindness or your services for granted. If you help them once, it doesn’t mean you have to help them every time. And ask yourself: who would actually do this for you? Who would unleash their superheroes skills just for the sake of pleasing you?
Be nice, be kind, be helpful, be generous, be flexible, be considerate, take care of the people around you and do try to make others happy. But always, always, always put limits. And learn to say NO. And trust me, people will appreciate when you say no more than when you say yes and not live up to the expectations.
Remember that you can’t always be a superhero. You can’t always be there for everyone and you can’t always make everyone happy. Realizing that doesn’t make you a bad person or a selfish person. It doesn’t even make you a less nicer person. It just makes you normal. Don’t worry, you’ll get plenty of other chances to make people happy, to show them your love and your support. But don’t overwhelm yourself by making that your mission in life. It’s only fair that you think of yourself too, that you think of what makes YOU happy, of what YOU want. People won’t stop loving you for that if you draw the limit nicely. And they’ll know that whenever you can, you will still try to make them happy. You just won’t kill yourself for it though. And it won’t be at the expense of your own happiness and comfort.
So stop worrying about what everyone thinks, wants or expects from you. No matter how much you try, you’ll never be able to please everyone, even if you really want to, and even if you think you can. Even superheroes can’t please everyone. So instead of focusing on what people want you to do, focus on what you want to do and you will find yourself having a lot more peace of mind.