The last time I posted anything on this blog, I wrote about taking time to focus on yourself and on your needs instead of putting your energy only on other people. That was almost two years ago… So I can safely say that I took way too much time for myself, probably much more than needed! I never really intended to be gone for too long. And when I wrote that last post, I wasn’t really planning on it being the last. It’s like when you take a small break from the gym because let’s say you’re sick and then when you get better, for some reason it’s so hard to drag yourself back to the gym and you keep postponing it for the next week and then the next one and the next one and the next one. You get the idea.
The longer time passed by without me writing for this blog, the harder it became to come back. And after a while, I stopped really thinking about it, so I put it on my “Things to do Eventually” list. We all have one of those I think. It’s basically things on your actual To Do list that you never get around to doing and so after a while you just dump it on to your Eventually list. It feels good because your To Do list gets shorter and you feel like you crossed something off of it. Except you didn’t. You just postponed it for two years, like my case here 🙂
Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been sitting lazily around for two years doing nothing. I’ve been doing too much actually, which is probably why I haven’t made time for writing. Instead of writing about moving forward, fighting for the things you want, finding your passion in life, working hard, being creative etc…, I was actually doing all those things. I’ve always been a writer, a talker and a dreamer. And while I still write, talk, and dream, I also became a doer. And I just hope that this drive and commitment will stay within me and that I won’t stop halfway. It’s always so easy to stop halfway, just look at this blog, it’s the perfect example.
So what made me come back? To be honest, I never really forgot that blog, it was always on the back of my mind as something I needed to come back to. But after a while, the thought of the blog became associated with guilt. I felt so guilty for not writing that I decided to stop thinking about the blog just so that I don’t get that feeling of guilt. Then a few weeks ago, I got an email notification that someone new is now following my blog. At first I felt bad for this new follower because I knew there wouldn’t be any new content anytime soon to follow. But then Nostalgia, as it so often does, struck. And so I revisited the blog just to remember what it looks like (I found it quite pretty and colorful), and I re-read my previous posts and the various comments I had. And well, I got emotional.
I found myself smiling at the words I wrote, and even found myself inspired by them as if it was someone else who had written them. I smiled at how much love and effort I had put into this blog at the time, and I felt touched by the many positive comments I used to get, especially when people said my words inspired them. I had forgotten how good this place felt like, and I realized that I need to be back. Not eventually, but NOW.
Positive thinking doesn’t always come easy in our everyday life, it’s something we constantly have to practice. But while I was re-reading my older posts, I was happy to find that during the past two years, I had actually followed a lot of what this blog preached. There are a lot of areas in my life that still need improvement, but thankfully in the past two years I have taken many positive steps in my life. Life did get hard, and I was able to stand up and push forward. I’ve tackled some difficult situations and achieved things that seemed impossible or too complicated a few years back. I’ve discovered the artist within me and I’ve been making every day a little more colorful. I traveled to new places, met new interesting people, and focused on learning new things and on improving myself and my skills. I started putting myself first, though I did lose a few friends in the process. I surrounded myself with the family and friends that I love, and I’ve let go of people who had a negative influence on my life. I’ve had bad days, bad weeks, even bad months, but I always found something to be grateful for. I’ve made a few mistakes, which I am still trying to correct. I’ve discovered that although I love being among people, I am also able to stand on my own. Mostly, I stayed true to myself.
I am sorry for being away for so long. At this point, I don’t even know if anyone is actually waiting for my return, but I gotta say, it sure does feel good to be back! I don’t promise to always post here regularly, but I do promise that no matter how much times passes by, I will always come back and share my scribbles and my thoughts with you.